I. David was a man after God's own heart. Why do you think the Bible makes this claim? David was an avenging soldier, a murderer, and an adulterer. If you study his life in 1 and 2 Samuel you'll see that he loved God above all else. Time and again, he confessed his sin and was willing take discipline and chastisement from God. He was also a man of integrity. He was transparent....a tell-like-it-is...what you see is what you get ...kind of a person. This says a lot about the value God places on honesty in repentance.
As we walk through some verses that are a timeline of David's life, see how he struggled, repented, but most importantly, he grieved over his losses. He was sorry for the loss, not sorry he had to face consequences. His grief was an expression of his love for others.
1. David comes to live in the palace with Saul and his family. But, there was bad blood between KIng Saul and this young soldier, even from the beginning. When foolish women sang, "Saul has killed his thousands (of Philistines), but David killed ten thousands", this placed a bitter seed in the king's heart and a division between their families for generations. It led to civil war and death as a result of jealousy and revenge. Look at the family dynamics--
1 Sam 18:21; 19:1; 1 Sam 20:32, 34. Saul uses his own children to snare David. He places his daughter in the position of becoming a spying wife. He even chastises his son Jonathan for befriending David. You can imagine the strife and dysfunction caused in the family relationships.
2. Poor, Saul. He was confused most all his life. He was insecure and a people pleaser. He didn't trust God and was always seeking the advice of fortune tellers and witches. One minute he was building monuments to himself, or trying to kill his son-in-law, and the next he was prophesying (or preaching) for God. 1 Sam 19:23-25.
3. David flees. David has had enough. When his good friend Jonathan (Saul's son) warns him of Saul's intention to skill him, David asks his wife (Saul's daughter) to pretend that David is sick and distracts Saul's soldier's long enough for David to escape out of a back window. He takes off for the land of Nob. He spent some time with the good priests of the region. He needed prayer, food, and rest and the priests provided this...later they paid for this kind act of hospitality with their lives. Saul finds out about their support to David and had them executed. 1 Sam 22:17.
4. David goes to the enemy camp. David decides there is only one way to escape---hide out at the enemy's territory. He makes friends with Achish, a pagan ruler in a neighboring territory. Achish and his people are not friendly with the Philistines nor are they friends with Israel. He's thinking David might become useful in taking plunder and maybe as a defector from Israel. David and his army of rebels and their families move to the town of Ziklag. While living in Zilag, he and his men take off once more to fight the wicked Amalekites. While they are gone, a band of Amalekites raided his town and stole all the wives and children. But God was with David and he retaliated and was able to rescues all the women and children and bring them back home.1 Sam 30:3-6.
5. Saul is defeated. Meanwhile The Philistines are attacking Saul and his army in the hill country at Gilboa. All three of Saul's sons are killed in battle. 1 Sam 31:1-3. In the end rather than have the Philistines torture him and "make sport of him", he asked his armor bearer to hasten his death. The armor bearer refused. We are not sure what happened next, whether Saul actually killed himself or whether a wandering Amalekite stumbled upon his dieing body and finished the job. At some point, the Amalekite did take the king's crown and arm band so he must have been a witness to the death. Meanwhile, the Philistines took the bodies of Saul and his sons and displayed them, beheaded, on a wall in a pagan city. The people of Jabesh Gilead, remembering how Saul had rescued them 42 years earlier, risked their lives to enter the city to rescue the bodies and bring them home for a decent burial. 1 Sam 31:11-13.
King David
II. The Old Testament is a saga that validates times of grief. We can't read through a single chapter without reading of weeping and personal loss for the people in the story. This is why we can expect, and know, God's people will face grief. We can't escape it. Let's look at some verses that show how the "man after God's own heart" faces grief.
2 Sam 1:11-12 Loss of his beloved king and ruler of his beloved people.
All of us weep for different reasons. Usually during funerals, but sometimes when someone we love is separated form us through estrangement, divorce, illness, or rejection. Like David we weep for our loss.
Reflections.
1. What message did you receive as child about crying? If male, did you receive a different message for you than for sisters or other women in the family?
2. When is it better to control your emotions; better to restrain tears? When is it better to cry?
My tears for my mother; my husband; my father; my grandparents; my sisters; the child that never was.
3. Did you ever see a parent weep? How did that affect you?
4. How do you comfort others who are weeping?
5. What comforts you during times of grief? We have traditions that are designed to comfort-- visitation, eulogy, flowers, gifts, food, cards.
